It’s not just knowing what is required to make a good goal successful. You have to then execute it and make it happen. That is the purpose of this exercise. I am offering an opportunity to think about your goal and then write it down in preparation to making it become real. What I covered in the last blog post and here today will greatly influence your success or failure. Do you you want to be part of the 7% that succeed at their resolution or the 93% who don’t?
Let’s get started. The first task is to grab a pen or pencil along with a sheet of paper. I encourage you to write your goal out to make it more real, especially considering how important it is.
What is your overriding goal? Explain the basic intention of your goal. This can be as long or as short an explanation as you want but make it detailed and written in the present moment. In other words, don’t just write, “I want to lose weight.” Write something like “I am losing 52 pound, I am regaining my energy, vitality and my enthusiasm for life. This is happening this very moment as I write this and I am profoundly grateful for this positive transformation.” I do want to note that weight loss is a common goal and often difficult one to achieve. If it were a matter of just eating better and moving more, it would be easy for most. We know this is not true. Being overweight is itself a symptom of something deeper going on. Until that “something” is addressed, the weight will remain if not increase. It is only when you realize that your health is the key that true longterm success is possible.
Why Do You Want to Achieve This Goal? Again, be very specific. Explain how your life will change when the goal is achieved. How will this goal impact other people in your life? How will it affect your friends and family and other loved ones? If we continue with the weight loss example, don’t just write “I want to fit in my skinny jeans.” or “I am tired of having to buy new clothes.” Write “I want to regain my health, vitality and my energy. I want to get relief from the symptoms (be specific) that I have had for many years. My life is changing giving me the ability to exercise more without feeling fatigue. My improved metabolism has allowed me to play outside in the snow with my children without feeling too cold. My husband appreciates my renewed vitality and joy for living, it feels like we are dating. I spend more time with my friends because I no longer have aches and pains in my joints. I am so grateful for these and other improvements that are made possible by my decision to live a healthier life.”
When will this goal be fully realized? While you should be completely conscious of the fact that this goal is already beginning to manifest, I want you to pick a specific date when it will be fully realized. Don’t answer, “I hope to compete this in a couple of months.” Answer with something like, “I am currently welcoming all of the right people, changes and circumstances into my life and allowing this goal to manifest as I write this. I am grateful for all that is, and all that is coming to me and I am grateful that my goal will be fully realized on July 30, 2016.” Of course be realistic. If you goal is to regain your health and in turn lose 70 pounds, it isn’t realistic to expect to do so in 8 weeks, unless you plan on removing an appendage or two. A healthy weight loss goal is roughly a pound to pound and a half a week. Being on the conservative side a year is more than realistic. If it happens sooner, great. It may take a bit longer but by then you have done all the hard work, now you just need time.
- Where are you when the goal is realized?
- Who is with you?
- What are you wearing? What is the weather like?
- What smells are in the air?
- How will you celebrate?
- Who will you celebrate with?
- How do you feel now that you have accomplished this goal?
Use all of your senses and be extremely detailed in answering these questions. Most importantly feel the feeling of achieving your goal. Imagine thinking with your heart, instead of your head.
If you are having difficulty and getting frustrated that is okay. This may be the first time you have ever asked yourself these questions and it may prove difficult to process.
If I can, let me offer a perspective on the difficulty of this task. I believe that what we are really looking for in life is to be happy. To feel good about not only ourselves but also the people, places and things that we experience and interact with along our journey of life. The challenge is that what we believe will make us happy is often the opposite of reality. We are programmed to believe that happiness is all about how we look, what we drive, the amount of money we earn, the job we hold, who we know. We tend to define ourselves not by who we are but what we do and what we have.
This is further complicated by the fact that we are not taught to investigate our self identity, our values, or beliefs. We are taught to ignore what we feel, ignore the inner voice that is attempting to open lines of communication. Push that voice into a dark area, close the door and throw away the key. In turn it is challenging to create a personal goal when you don’t know who you are.
If you are having difficulty, another way to answer these questions is to first ask yourself, “What is my worst nightmare? What is the last thing I want to happen to me?” You may have one, two or three such things to consider. Pick your top one and work with it. Your goal is to keep that from happening. Go back and try it again…..
*At this point you may want to rewrite the information out, by hand, on a nice clean piece of paper that you keep readily available to read, review and refer to whenever the desire or need arises. Remember, these are your goals and dreams that will come true. Why not frame the goal and place it somewhere prominent. Your dreams and goals are nothing to be ashamed of! Read it everyday, make it real.
Finally, on a separate piece of paper or an index card, answer the question below. I encourage you to do this every morning and then carry it with you during the day as a reminder. What three things will you do today to get you closer to your goal?
This can be large steps or baby steps, but you must do at least three things that will move you in the right direction. Don’t worry if it’s redundant. It may be necessary for one or more of the actions to be the same for days or weeks in a row. If your dream is writing a book and having it published these steps could be:
- Write at least one page
- Call or email at least two different publishers
- Work on the cover design
These steps may very well be necessary for you to do each day for months in order for you to accomplish your goal. Make them a habit. You can always add more items to this list as needed. As you do each item, check them off the list and tell people about it. One of the great things about social media is that you can use it to keep yourself accountable. You may want to inform others of the plan so when you talk about it, they understand why and hopefully don’t feel jealous. I have run into a few people that have had friends sabotage them once they began getting results.
*If you are using index cards, purchase an index card box to store the previous lists in. You can always refer to them later as needed.
Last Thoughts: It is okay to go back and expand upon, alter or rewrite your North Star. I would be surprised if you did not. You are in the early stages of a transformation, changing your life to change your health. The fact that you are taking this step already means that you have given it much thought and have most likely tried many different things already. What you believe you want today may not be the same tomorrow. As you learn, you will grow and as your grow your will change physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The end result will be a North Star that is you!
The purpose of this process is to better understand what will make you happy. That is what’s missing and the lack of happiness is manifesting as every sign, symptom, disease or complaint. When you are happy, the people, places and things that would otherwise bother you don’t exist. Before you continue, ask yourself, “If I accomplish my North Star will I be truly happy?” If you answer “no”, you should go back and dig deeper and discover what it is that will make you happy, vital and full of love.
Everything you do going forward is to discover healing opportunities and take advantage of them while reducing, minimizing and removing as many roadblocks as possible that are getting in the way of your health, vitality and happiness. Even better, you can do this naturally.
If you have any questions about this process or just wish to offer your thoughts and perspective, I encourage you to contact me.