Viewing any situation or relationship as a problem empowers the negative aspect and makes resolution more difficult.
Challenges are really opportunities. It is the challenges in your life and how you respond to them that define who you are and how others perceive you.
In transforming challenges into success I have two primary goals:
- To help you create the right mindset for when you face challenges
- To supply you with practical tools to use daily
How you relate to challenges depends upon your core values. Your core values are what you stand for and what you don’t stand for. With clearly defined core values you can be sure of who you are and what you bring into a relationship.
A lack of core values is a problem. Every problem you will ever likely be involved in will involve someone else. This means that you will be at least 50% of the problem regardless of how right you think you are.
There are three kinds of core values:
I Values: These are most important as they serve as the foundation for your relationship with other people, places and things. “I” values define who you are and how you live.
If you are not present with yourself, how can you be present with others? How can you expect them to be present with you?
We Values: These are the values that you establish for what you are willing to bring into a relationship. “We” values are also the values that you establish with others in relationships with you.
If you and your spouse do not have core values, can you be really sure who you are in a relationship with?
All Values: These are the values that you have in relationships with more than one other person. “All” values include what you have to offer in social situations, family, work, the community, the state, even to the level of the world.
In “I” relationships you are 100% responsible.
In “We” relationships you bring 50% of the success or failure to the relationship. We often have many “we” relationships.
In “All” relationships the problem can get magnified. To the degree that you are not living by your core values, you are not bringing all of you to a relationship. Any problem(s) that arise in those involved are partly your responsibility directly or indirectly.
Without defining your core values you may find yourself and others asking you why did the opposite of something you were taught or told to do and the most likely answer will be “I don’t know.”
Until you establish core values, you can never really know who you are in relationships with, you can never really know what you can expect from the other, nor can they know what to expect from you.
This is a guarantee for challenges for the rest of your life.
Strong core values is one key in the success of any relationship. Along with bringing your core values, a second element is establishing your intention within that relationship.
To make sure you are still paying attention and make you think a bit more outside the box, I offer this:
- Thought is an electromagnetic reality. Whatever thought you think produces an electromagnetic charge that attracts reality, attracts matter to it, attracts people to you, attracts whatever is in harmonic resonance to it, to the thinker.
Your thoughts can change reality, change space. For example, you are in a car with someone and you get in an argument. You can literally feel the air thicken. You can feel a room change if there are angry people in it. That change in energy will have an effect on you and others involved.
This is important because whenever you face challenges with other people and are not clear with what your intention is or what the desired outcome is, then you are not really likely to have the motivation to work through the challenge, and be less likely to display any empathy or compassion for the other persons dreams or desires, wants or needs.
Another way to define intention is “what is your dream.” If you come into a relationship and you clearly establish what your intention / dream is, and what their intention / dream is, you are in a very good position to determine if you can make or break the deal, the relationship.
It is far better to establish these things in the beginning of any relationship be it personal, business or spiritual. Otherwise you will not have any idea why people do the things that they do.
When you clearly state your intention, you clearly define the energy you have in the relationship.
When you are harmonious in your intentions, you have twice as much energy to attract reality into the situation you both want to be in. When the space between you is harmonious you have a good relationship. When the space between you and any other person is not in sync, is chaotic, you have challenges in that relationship.
- First, you must define your core values
- Second, you must define the intentions with each other.
- Only by knowing who we are can we define what we can bring to a relationship.
- Only by knowing what we bring to a relationship, and expect in a relationship, are we likely to ask others who they are and what they bring into the relationship.
- Only be establishing clear core values with each other can we ever know what our intentions are.
When we know what our core values are, and we know we have harmonious intentions, any problems that occur are usually easily solved because harmony is always a stronger force than chaos.
In the next part of this series I will discuss 5 additional tools that will allow you to transform challenges into successes.
This material was originally presented by Paul Chek as part of a PPSSuccess Workshop: 7 Practical Ways to Transform Challenges into Successes